I really do not intend to hurt the feelings of the random stranger who used google to search “Could ice cream have contributed to my sinus infection?” and managed to click a link to my blog from said search, but a girl just feels strange when that google search brings up the link to her blog.
My first reaction was to laugh. When I first went into my “stats” and looked at the search terms that leads readers to my blog it said “Could ice cream have contributed to m…” and I thought for sure that it was going to say “could ice cream have contributed to my multiple sclerosis?” Just to clarify my answer to such a question would be no, prob not, but maybe lay off the ice cream because a healthy diet is a good way to combat the disease (practice what you preach, Lisa!). But when I discovered the concern was about ice cream and sinus infection correlation I still laughed but then I googled it myself. I was not only interested to find the answer, I was interested to see how many pages in to the search this reader had to look before finding the link to Damsel in a Dress.
So along I went to Google and typed in the exact search phrase that I found in my stats. While searching for the link to my blog I found some really interesting website titles. This Google search taught me so many things. Now I will share some of those things with you.
-Did you know that there are people out there concerned that a sinus infection could cause pink eye?
-And that there is probably a link between sinus infections and chronic bad breath?
-A sinus infection is also a great early warning sign that you could be pregnant!
-There’s also a person out there with a blog post titled “I’m so happy I have H Pylori!” (At first I found that really strange and I almost clicked on it but then I figured it was probably someone in the same boat as me and they were celebrating that they finally found out what was wrong with them. Good for you, internet stranger! I won’t mock this one!)
-Next I found a website that attracted my attention by titling a post “My kick ass surgery in Korea.” I can only imagine a surgery in Korea to be kick ass. I can’t imagine it would ever go awry. I am being sarcastic, but only because at first glance I thought the post said North Korea.
-Some people are worried that ‘brain freeze’ can lead to permanent brain damage. Oh no! Maybe all those fudgiscles I ate in sixth grade are the root cause of all of my health problems!
-Some people get intense pain in their bottom front teeth after they run. I wish I knew what to tell them to save them from such pain. Maybe it’s cold outside when they run and they are getting brain freeze? Maybe bottom front teeth pain is an early sign of brain damage?
-There is at least one human out there who wonders whether or not they can mix amoxicillin with ice cream. I mean yeah, sure, I guess no one is really stopping you. But do you really want amoxicillin flavoured ice cream?
-Why bother eating amoxicillin flavoured ice cream when you could try garlic flavoured ice cream? Which is apparently a thing. For all those single ladies out there who just want to curl up with their cat, Netflix and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s but who are also a little bit afraid that there may be vampires nearby.
-Did you know by clicking this one link on the internet you can find out how to cure a yeast infection permanently? As in never have a yeast infection again? Want to know the answer? Too bad, I didn’t click on the link, because that just sounds like a load of bullshit.
Those were the interesting links I found after clicking through 27 pages of search results to see if ice cream could cause a sinus infection. So it took 27 pages to get to the Damsel in a Dress link, you may be asking? No. I gave up. I didn’t find it after 27 pages. I applaud this person’s sheer determination to either find an answer for ice cream sinus infections hidden among all of those random gems or for searching through every last ounce of internet crap in order to find my specific blog. I applaud you, internet stranger, because I gave up after 27 pages and I have a very personal connection to this blog and should be more determined to find it than you. I’m also a little creeped out that these are the word associations that exist for my blog. Pink-eye-yeast-infection-garlic-breath-sinus-infection-blog. Now that I put it like that, it has kind of a ring to it. Maybe I will change the title of my blog.
Okay okay, I won’t keep you guys waiting any longer. Now the answer to the question everyone is just dying to know: can ice cream cause a sinus infection?
Earth Clinic, google search hit number one, tells me that yes, of course it can, silly! But only certain kinds like DQ and Baskin Robbins, obviously. They cause a “fake flu” for 24 hours and then BAM sinus infection a mere 48 hours later! Scienced!
(Editor’s note: This could very well be true. We urge Lisa to clarify that she is not against natural medicine stuff and to emphasize the fact that she is not a medical doctor so if you think ice cream gives you a sinus infection maybe you’re onto something and you should stop eating it which would be fine because then there would be more ice cream for Lisa. It should also be clarified that Lisa does not have an editor and that she is just writing in third person now because it’s fun.)
An unsuspecting blogger enjoys an ice cream in Central Park. Unbeknownst to her, that ice cream will later be linked to an unfortunate sinus infection that claims 3 days from her social life and the lives of countless tissues. A silent killer.
So you’ve been warned. I took it upon myself to research this diligently so I could save all of you, my loyal readers. If you order a DQ blizzard ever again you know you’re just asking for a sinus infection. And we all know a sinus infection is just going to lead to pink eye. Might as well break out the amoxicillin ice cream as soon as you finish the last drop of your DQ blizzard soup. But don’t eat it too fast. You don’t want to get brain freeze and end up brain dead. Then you might need to have a kick ass surgery in North Korea, which is not a great way to start the first trimester of your pregnancy. But I guess amoxicillin flavoured ice cream is probably better than garlic ice cream. That shit will give you chronic bad breath. Which I guess is better than a permanent yeast infection. Such a slippery slope.
Update: I’m only now realizing that “mixing amoxicillin with ice cream” probably means eating ice cream while being on amoxicillin and isn’t someone’s weird way of trying to trick their child into taking amoxicillin by clandestinely sneaking it into a double scoop of mint chocolate chip. And that brings up a bad memory of a nurse trying to get me to take pills by sticking them in between two salt and vinegar chips and telling me to chew. But that’s a story for another time.