I feel like we need to get caught up. It’s kind of like we’ve been drifting lately and I don’t like that at all. I need to work on us more, I know. I need to give you more attention. And I will, I swear. This is the first step in doing that. I am about to tell you 8 very important things that have happened to me recently-ish, because it is important to keep you in the loop. Or as Jonny would say “in the loop-us” (because I have lupus…get it?).
So here goes…8 equally important things that have happened to me recently:
1. I GOT MY BRACES OFF.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???
Actually, maybe I should start over just in case you don’t know me as well as I want you to know me (because in my head I’m a celeb as big as Mindy Kaling and I have lots of online stalkers).
1. I HAD BRACES FOR 6 YEARS OF MY ADULT LIFE.
Guh. Don’t even get me started.
2. I GOT MY BRACES OFF.
I know, you feel like I had them on for so long that I must have been born with them. I started to feel the same way. It’s like they became a part of me. I wondered if I would actually even have teeth when they took my braces off. I expected my teeth to come right off with the brackets. But they didn’t! I still have teeth! I don’t look like this:
Instead, I look like this:
This was such a big deal to my family and friends that my friends Nancy and Ian actually hosted a Lisa Doesn’t Need Braces party for me that mostly consisted of me eating a bucket full of corn on the cob while people stood around me and watched. Yeah, it was weird. Okay it wasn’t that weird. It was actually really cool. They bought all of the food I haven’t been able to eat for SIX WHOLE YEARS because the dentist STOLE MY ENTIRE YOUTH FROM ME. I had corn, caramel candy, popcorn, other gummy candies, spinach dip, and probably lots of other things (a cornucopia of snacks, if I may). I can’t really remember what else we had because I’m pretty sure the night ended with me lapsing into a corn coma. Other people ate food too. I didn’t just make them stand around smelling the food while I ate it. I was nice and shared.
3. I got a matching tattoo with my best friend Melissa.
You know Melissa, right? Obviously you do. Her and I go way back to grade 7 when she paid someone to beat me up because she didn’t like me and then miraculously (like at the end of an episode of Degrassi) in that same day she discovered my love of Days of Our Lives and decided I was cool enough to not get beaten up. She called off the hit and we have been best friends ever since. So in honour of our friendship and ultimate cheesiness, we decided to get matching best friend tattoos. That’s ridiculous right? Well, wait until you hear what we got. DAYS OF OUR LIVES TATTOOS. That’s right. We got matching hour-glass symbols on our inside wrists. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING COOLER THAN PERMANENTLY INKING YOUR SKIN WITH A SOAP OPERA TATTOO.
I think it’s really important to commit to the fandom that you were obsessed with in junior high – especially 15 years later when you don’t even watch the show anymore because Kyle Lowder is too busy playing Stacee Jaxx in the Vegas production of Rock of Ages to continue portraying the role of Salem’s bad boy, Brady Black.
4. I went to Disney World with my cousin Jenna and we made this picture happen:
That is us in the ponchos…obviously. She is twelve years old and hilarious and I love it.
5. I became obsessed with Pretty Little Liars.
IT IS THE WORST. But I can’t stop watching it. I scream at the television screen a lot. It just absolutely blows my mind that these high school girls think it’s cool to sneak around and solve murders and that EVERY OTHER DAY SOMEONE IN THIS SMALL TOWN IS BEING MURDERED yet most people are like “Meh whatever let’s go to the café and drink some lattes.” Don’t even get me started on the fact that one of the characters is supposed to be a ghost or something and they just brush past that like I won’t constantly be wondering WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. By the way, if you leave any sort of comment that spoils who A is to me I will never ever forgive you so please don’t do that. I’m not finished season 6 yet and I will be emotionally destroyed if you spoil that for me. Thanks.
6. I wrote a bunch of health related articles for some different websites.
One of the websites that I wrote for was The Mighty, which I was super excited about, and I plan on doing a few more posts for them soon! Here are the links if you’re interested and if you don’t keep up with my work on my Facebook page (shame on you!) :
– “When a Doctor Asked Why Such a Young Girl Like Me Has So Many Problems” on TheMighty.com. The title is pretty self-explanatory. Due to the nature of the website that I wrote this article for I couldn’t say what I really wanted to say in response to this doctor’s question which is “screw you, asshat.”
–“If You’ve Ever Searched for a Diagnosis, You Need to Read This” on PatientWorthy.com. Another self-explanatory title. You’re welcome.
–“The Unpredictability of Chronic Illness” on RA Daily.
–“The Mess of Emotions Behind Medication Weight Gain” on InvisibleIllnessWeek.com. This is a re-publication of my hit HelloGiggles post about the effect of steroids on your self-esteem.
I know what you’re thinking and I agree: I am essentially a celeb now.
7. Clare made me a cross-stitch from The Office.
It’s okay if you’re jealous that my friends are so cool. Someday we will all hang out, I promise.
8. T. Swift’s 1989 was covered by Ryan Adams.
You may think this doesn’t directly involve me in any way but you would obviously be wrong. T. Swift is one of my best friends. Anyway, I’ve been listening to his cover album on repeat and only just realized (after hearing the song 8 million times) that in the song “Style,” Tay was in fact saying “fade into view” and not singing about a “fake interview.” I always wondered where she got time to do so many fake interviews when she is legit always doing real live interviews.