I have other people sharing their great ideas on how to get the most out of Christmas with a chronic illness so I guess it’s time for me to share my own knowledge (or lack thereof).

I have only one tip to share with you guys this holiday season:
STOP TRYING TO MASTER CHRISTMAS AND JUST SIT BACK, RELAX, AND HAVE FUN, DAMN IT!

And the only reason I yell that at you is so that maybe I can get that same message through my thick skull and actually take my own advice for once.

I’m posting articles to help you guys have a healthy, stress-free holidays and in the meantime I’m recovering from surgery and running around the city like a chicken with my head cut off buying presents, getting groceries, baking, cleaning, wrapping presents (and doing a horrible job at it) and just not relaxing one tiny bit. I am doing the opposite of everything I am supposed to be doing. I am not working until after New Years due to contract work and to recover from my surgery so my actual job right now is to relax and recover from surgery and I can’t do it at all. I am doing a shit job of following all of the advice my guest bloggers and commenters are sharing. And that’s pretty stupid of me.

My tree is decorated, my presents are wrapped (horribly), there are baked goods in my kitchen and my house is more or less clean, yet I still feel like I have to do more and more before I’m ready for Christmas. I’m not sure when I got this idea in my head that Christmas has to be such hard work. Christmas is supposed to be a time to relax and have fun with family and friends, enjoy life and be thankful for what we have, and I’m here acting like Christmas is a full time job that I have to work overtime for in order to impress my boss to get some sort of promotion.

So basically I think you guys should just do the opposite of everything I’ve been doing and you will have a nice, relaxing Christmas. I just spent some time re-reading the guest blog posts that have been sent my way and I, for once, sat back and took the time to let that information sink in.

I realized that I’m acting like Sarah Jessica Parker’s character in The Family Stone before she realizes the true meaning of Christmas. I don’t want to be like Sarah Jessica Parker’s character in The Family Stone before she realizes the true meaning of Christmas! I want to be like Claire Danes in The Family Stone! She was so cool and really enjoyed the little things in life. I would even settle for being Sarah Jessica Parker’s character after she hooks up with Luke Wilson.

Or, if you would prefer, we can take the Love Actually route. I don’t want to be like Alan Rickman in Love Actually. Let’s say that the skanky bitch from his office that he buys a present for represents the materialistic, stupid side of Christmas that doesn’t matter. She is the personification of shopping malls, expensive gifts, consumerism and greed. And let’s say Emma Thompson represents the true meaning of Christmas: love, family, nativity lobsters, and happiness. I don’t want to cheat on Emma Thompson. I want love, family, nativity lobsters and happiness to win. No one should ever make Emma Thompson cry.

love-actually-emma-thompsoncry
I’m pretty sure I’ve lost track of all of my Christmas movie character references and I don’t even remember what I was talking about. All I know is that I’m really sad for Emma Thompson right now and I have a desire to listen to Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell.

Oh, wait! I remember the point of this! In order to be like these positive Christmas movie characters I have to remember that Christmas isn’t about things, it’s about memories. And the memories you have of Christmas shouldn’t be of you fighting over the last toy at the mall, being exhausted while carrying bags of presents around town, cleaning your house, or not having time to enjoy being with loved ones because you have to steadily do do do. So do me a favour. We can do this together. Let’s channel our inner Claire-Danes-from-Family-Stone-not-Homeland. Let’s pour up a hot chocolate (or a glass of wine), sit back on our couch, kick up our feet and watch a good Christmas movie (Love Actually), read a good book (or just watch Love Actually), listen to some fun holiday songs (like the Love Actually soundtrack), or play a board game with some friends (with Love Actually on the tv in the background). Those are the memories you are going to cherish. Not the malls, traffic jams and credit card debts. Are you doing it? You better be doing it. You need a break! I’ll only do it if you do it. Okay that’s a lie because there is no way you can stop me from watching Love Actually right now. But you should do it too, because the true meaning of Christmas won’t be found while you are trying to make Christmas perfect. Christmas won’t be perfect, because nothing is. So I’m just going to embrace that, relax and stop fussing over the little things.

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