If you are ever feeling unsure about how successful you have become or perhaps you are a little disappointed in the things you have accomplished by the age of 25, I highly recommend finding a journal you wrote in grade one. You will go from feeling like a lazy screw up to the most successful 25 year old in the world after reading your grade one journal. Need proof?

Meet 6-year-old-Lisa:

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What sorts of things does 6-year-old-Lisa like?

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6-year-old-Lisa likes TV. Well maybe that’s a bad start…because not much has changed there. Let’s see what else 6-year-old-Lisa likes.

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6-year-old-Lisa likes to watch Power Rangers. I guess we can’t really blame her for that one.

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Okay more specifically she likes the Black Power Ranger. Obviously she would like the Black Power Ranger because he can do dances. So far 6-year-old-Lisa seems like a pretty normal 6 year old.

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Oh wait. There it is. 6-year-old-Lisa likes forest fires…

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And this is what a forest fire looks like. 6-year-old-Lisa drew forest fires all the time.

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But soon she branched out into drawing all different sorts of fires, like rainbow fires. Is there anything else 6-year-old-Lisa likes that doesn’t involve fire?

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Paper hats! Okay, interesting. I guess 6-year-old-Lisa probably likes paper hats because they are easy to set on fire.

Then 6-year-old-Lisa was asked to draw a picture of Jesus.

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And in 6-year-old-Lisa’s mind Jesus looked like Hannibal Lecter. Not creepy at all.

So we know about 6-year-old-Lisa’s interests and how she feels about Jesus, but we don’t really know yet if she is some sort of child prodigy. Is 6-year-old-Lisa a genius? What better way to find out than to look at her grade one science experiment?

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6-year-old-Lisa’s scientific problem: Can raisins swim?

And 6-year-old-Lisa guesses that raisins can’t really swim.

The results? Well it looks like 6-year-old-Lisa was exhausted from guessing whether or not raisins could swim so her mom had to fill out the rest of her experiment for her. Good.

So I was feeling a little lazy and being a little hard on myself for not being some sort of accomplished, published author with a flat in NYC yet and then I read my grade one journal. Sure, life may not have gone the way I thought it would, but that’s probably for the best. Because if you asked 6-year-old-Lisa where she thought she would be at 25 she would probably tell you that she’s going to be some sort of masked vigilante arsonist who does weird science experiments in her mother’s basement. And then she would make you a matching paper hat. And then she would probably set the hat on fire.

9 Comments on I’m Surprised I’m Not a Serial Arsonist

    • damselinadress
      January 31, 2015 at 1:12 pm (3 years ago)

      I wish I saw this comment sooner. It’s Saturday today too, though. So maybe I will make the hat tonight and party wearing it.

      Reply
  1. Lelainia Lloyd
    March 2, 2014 at 5:14 am (4 years ago)

    Okay now I feel old-March 22nd, 1995 was my 24th birthday. My son was almost 4. Crazy!

    Reply
    • damselinadress
      January 31, 2015 at 1:13 pm (3 years ago)

      You’re not old, I’m just super young! Does that help? Do you feel better now? 😛

      Reply
  2. Daile
    March 5, 2014 at 11:53 pm (4 years ago)

    That’s exactly what 30 year old Daile thinks Jesus looks like too…

    Reply
    • damselinadress
      January 31, 2015 at 1:10 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you!

      Reply
  3. matt
    January 31, 2015 at 4:30 am (3 years ago)

    You probably like the forest fire because we had a major forest fire around that time in fort mac. you where probably just writing about what you saw and heard!

    Reply
    • damselinadress
      January 31, 2015 at 1:10 pm (3 years ago)

      God, I hope so!

      Reply

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