Are you interested in learning more about the history of the United Kingdom? Look no further! My roommate and academic historian, McCoag, knows all there is to know about it’s history. *

“In 1610 the Presbyterian Scots were given land in Northern Ireland to create plantations of some sort because it was close to the border of Ireland and Scotland. The land was given to them by Queen Bitch-tits…Mary? Elizabeth? What’s her nuts…you know…Queen Someone the First. Sidenote: British Monarchy why are you so confusing?! James the 1st or James the 4th? THEY ARE BOTH THE SAME! HA! Anyway Queen Bitch-tits* wanted to unify the UK or something but this put a big wedge between the Catholic scallywags* and the Protestants. That started the beginning of the time in which Ireland was in constant struggle for it’s own identity. Anyways shit got real…there was fragmentation……RELIGIOUS FIEFDOM!…..I dunno I was drunk when I wrote that paper. And that’s why you will have to use the Euro on your trip to Dublin instead of the British pound.”

Stay tuned for next weeks’ history lesson about “something history related that I won’t know until it happens organically because I can’t force this, Lisa!” -Historian McCoag

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*Some of this is probably true.
*The Queen is great and I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend anyone who loves the Queen.
*Same goes for Catholics. ^

4 Comments on A Brief History Lesson from my Roommate: Unifying the United Kingdom

  1. Rebecca Meyer
    August 19, 2014 at 12:37 am (5 years ago)

    That is hilarious! It would so entertaining if History books were written in that style.

    Reply
  2. James Patrick Casey
    August 19, 2014 at 7:38 am (5 years ago)

    I live in Britain, and I can guarantee the accuracy of this blog post. Queen Bitch-tits was a real piece of work.

    Reply
  3. ellie2810
    August 19, 2014 at 9:32 am (5 years ago)

    My conclusion from this? Your roommate is amazing. Queen Bitch Tits…

    Reply
  4. Amy
    August 19, 2014 at 10:12 am (5 years ago)

    Haha amazing, the Monarchy IS super confusing which is why I have outright refused to try and learn it…if they all had fun nicknames like this though that might help somewhat 🙂

    Reply

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