You guys must have missed me so much!
It’s been so long that, were this macbook a real book, I would have to blow away the dust on the cover before opening it. Okay I actually had to do that to my macbook when opening it just now. Except there’s still dust all over the part of my macbook that is duct tape. I disgust myself sometimes.
Much like my computer, I have seen better days! The list of things that I am allergic to and that my body is repelling against is growing by the day. I have had – I think – 8 anaphylactic “episodes” this month. I call them episodes and not “shocks” because, as a friend pointed out after about the fourth one, there just has to come a time when it is no longer shocking. And we have certainly reached that point.
We can now add key lime yogurt and apple cider to the list of “caution: death” items in my life. And then yesterday I had a terrible reaction to what I assume to be oxygen because it happened out of nowhere. It might have been paint fumes, or a granola bar made in a peanut free factory that I ate two hours beforehand and have been eating all week with no problems. If my body is trying to tell me something I will respond with “I AM LISTENING!” I assume my body is just shutting down entirely.
While in the hospital yesterday I turned to my friend Pamela, who had accompanied me to give Boyfriend a bit of a break and a chance to actually work a full day without having to leave due to another girlfriend emergency, and told her that her and Melissa are to split my clothes and books upon my death. I ordered her to give a sock monkey to Boyfriend to remember me by. All of my affairs are now in order.
Although I suppose now I have to find suitable foster parents for my new guinea pigs, Sam and Dean, BECAUSE I OWN GUINEA PIGS NOW!
I found them on a classifieds ad for 50 bucks and the woman said they are brothers and that she really didn’t want to separate them, so instantly I knew I needed to own them and they needed to be named Sam and Dean because Sam and Dean Winchester should never be separated either. And much like Dean Winchester, Dean Pig is more adventurous and has more attitude. And much like Sam Winchester, Sam Pig is definitely the more sensitive of the two. I bet if he weren’t a guinea pig he would have gone to law school before dropping out to try to help put his family back together. So considerate, that guinea pig.
I am now going to act like a new mother and force you to look at pictures of my guinea pigs even though you probably don’t want to. I will show you four pictures right now, but don’t think that’s the end of it. Just wait until they are comfortable enough around me to wear outfits. Pretty sure my summer hobby will be making Doctor Who outfits small enough to fit guinea pigs.
Without further ado, I introduce to you the two fur balls that mostly just squeal, eat carrots and poop all day. No different than human babies, I’m sure.
This is Sam:
This is Sam eating a carrot:
This is Dean:
This is Sam and Dean together, bonding over their shared fear of humans:
You’re right, they are adorable!